What is it about money that scares us so much?

Believe it or not, it's not asking people for money that makes us so crazy, it's asking for anything!

Think for a minute of the last time you were at a luncheon or dinner gathering. While everyone else was enjoying their meal, you were obsessed with one thing: how to get the salt or butter or salad dressing passed all the way around the table to you. You could see that the person closest to the salt shaker was deeply engrossed in conversation, as were the two people on either side of you. Of course it would have been much too rude to stand up and reach for it. Or holler over to the person nearest to the object of your desire.

Get the point? Think of the mental gyrations we go through just to get someone to pass the salt.

Then add to that our cultural baggage about money: it's dirty, private, scarce, has strings attached, etc. List out all of yours now. Is it any wonder we get a little anxious at the thought of asking someone for money?

Compound this with most people's worst nightmare: asking a total stranger for a lot of money.

A sure recipe for "asking paralysis."

The cure? A little behavior modification, shall we say.

1. Start by making a list of ten things you would like to ask someone for but haven't. These should be ten fairly reasonable things. Things you've been complaining about and would like to change. Requests to family, friends, work associates, anyone.

   They often start with phrases like: "bring me," "get me," "help me," "tell me," "show me."

2. Then start in making these "asks." Start with the easy ones. Ask your kids to clean their rooms. Ask your dry cleaner to put the shirts on hangers. Ask the grocery clerk to help you carry your bags outside. Like that.
3. Your job here has nothing to do with getting them to say "yes." It's just for you to notice all the silly stuff we go through just to make a simple request. Also notice their baggage. If they said no to cleaning their room, for example, what else can "no" mean? (Hint: "No" rarely means no.)

   How do you think they felt about saying "no," if they did?

   How did it feel to you to hear them say "no?"

4. Now that they have said "no," how would you ask for the same thing again? What would you say or do differently?

If you want to have a breakthrough in being more comfortable with asking, I recommend you do this exercise for a week. You need to rehabilitate your ability to ask anyone for any little thing. Never mind the biggies yet.

Jot down the valuable insights you'll be having about "asking."

I think you'll see that, for the most part, your fears about asking people for money are just some sophisticated, grown-up version of "Please pass the salt."